Enough!!
Friday, March 4, 2011
What’s the use of being in love to a person, when that person doesn’t even value your love? What’s the use of sacrificing and exerting much effort and giving everything to the person you love, when he doesn’t realize nor appreciate what you’ve done for him but demand for more? What’s the point of crying every night, when the one you are crying to do not deserve the tears you’ve shed? What’s the use of saying sorry; when that person keeps on hurting you so much? Am I not good enough?
I was so blind and was afraid to understand these questions disseminating in my mind. I even at times closed my mind from matters in our relationship that I never wanted to face. I am so naïve that I spent and exerted much time, effort and most of all love for a pathetic man and ended up squandered. I muck up when I cannot anymore handle the situation, I got disheartened, I shed an ocean of tears and I felt down like a toy being dumped and disposed. I’m totally bleeding in pain. I’m afraid that I might regret putting an end to something that once made me smile. I might even cry whenever I miss the days it used to be.
I attempt to renovate my emotions into something else but I am still in that very same situation I’m trying to escape whenever I got home and alone. I hang out with my friends, I party all night and sleep all day, and I got drunk. Unfortunately, everything I did was ineffective. I am wholly drowned in the ocean of love. The more I refuse to face the truth the more it hurts. Being in my situation is not intended, I love like there’s no tomorrow. But now, I can say that I overcome the sadness and tears and I’ll smile to realize how better off I am since then.
I cannot hate that man for what he has done to me, for as soon as I begin to disgust him, I’ll become like him feeble, vicious and unkempt. I need to set things free before it totally kills me. In this game of life, you need not to be a perfect player. Instead, all you need to do is play at your best and never give up. I now understand the word enough. Enough for all my stupidity and fancy imagination that forever still exist. They say when you love someone you need to give your trust and understand the person, but tell me, how long could you understand someone who never explains? Enough!
Past is past. If you want happiness never walks together with your past. It maybe unforgettable but past is just a lesson for you pick up and learn. Just look back but for no reason to bring it back. Thanks to my past for he opened my mind and leaved a lot of lessons in life which will serve as my weapon for my next journey in life. First, is to love but not too much. Second, is to give but leave something for you. Third, is to fight but learn to let go. Fourth, is to cry but try to move on and lastly, is not to overuse your heart in loving someone. Sometimes, we need to use our brain to stop the pain.
we all deserve a pause